How Big Brother is Doing

Luke has had a rough week. He loved having Grandma and Grandpa here. I didn't realize how hard of a time he was having because he was so distracted with Grandma and Grandpa, but when they left last Friday it became clear that Luke had felt pretty abandoned. He would yell and throw things when I tried to talk to him. He would run away from me or hit me when I was nursing Micah. That night he wandered out of bed and went to sleep on the hallway floor. He also woke up several times yelling for me, so I spent some of the night sleeping in bed with Luke.

It really made me want Grandma and Grandpa back!

But Megan and Taylie came on Saturday night. So on Sunday it seemed a little bit better. But Luke would still get mad when I was nursing. Luckily while Megan was here Micah was off the biliblanket the whole time, so I wasn't so confined to the room. I let Taylie and Megan take care of Micah as much as possible so that I could play with Luke more.

But on Thursday and Friday it was clear that Luke is still having a hard time adjusting. I think he finds it hard to be at home much more than we normally are. He frequently yells, "Shoes! Shoes!" when I'm nursing which is how Luke asks to go outside. He also asks for his friend Caleb. He still gets mad at me too when I'm nursing (hitting me and throwing fits when I try to talk to him). This is hard because my mom and other people gave me the same advice: to use nursing time to cuddle with the older child. I've tried to read books with Luke or sing songs with him while I nurse, but he usually runs away.

Luckily he loves his little brother. He is very gentle with Micah, and gives him kisses and helps me burp him. He also doesn't seem to harbor any resentment towards Jared. Hopefully he realizes that I still love him and gets used to my nursing soon. Because his whining is driving me crazy! And it also makes me feel sad and bad and lots of other emotions because I understand why he is acting that way.